


Wednesday

by mackenziemchale



Category: The Newsroom (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Flashbacks, Some Fluff, Some angst, will dealing with his issues, will goes to therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:00:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25365751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mackenziemchale/pseuds/mackenziemchale
Summary: He stops his chatter about baseball, knowing his avoidance could go on for so long. He didn’t know why he was here, what possessed him to drive all the way over here, wait to be seen, and go in. Well actually, he did know why he was here, he was just avoiding talking about it any chance he could.
Relationships: Will McAvoy/MacKenzie McHale
Comments: 12
Kudos: 14





	Wednesday

**Author's Note:**

> two quick notes here at the beginning: 
> 
> I drew some inspiration for this one from mettespo’s fic 52 Days (highly recommend reading it if you haven’t) 
> 
> I’m not entirely sure but I feel like it’s probably best to give a trigger warning for one paragraph toward the end where I go into a little bit of detail about Will’s childhood. I don’t go into explicit detail but just to give anyone who would like to know up front a warning, here it is.
> 
> Other than that, hope you all enjoy!

“Did you catch the Yankees game last night? It was a good one.”

“No, but that’s not what we’re here to talk about.”

“I didn’t think they were gonna win and then in the last ten minutes they really pulled through with some good hits and won the whole thing. I’m not big into baseball, I prefer football but it was thrilling to watch.”

“Will.”

He stops his chatter about baseball, knowing his avoidance could go on for so long. He didn’t know why he was here, what possessed him to drive all the way over here, wait to be seen, and go in. Well actually, he  _ did _ know why he was here, he was just avoiding talking about it any chance he could.

“Why are you here?”

Jack Habib, his therapist, gives Will a stern look. Will always had a way of avoiding his feelings and his issues thinking that if he just didn’t talk about them then they would simply disappear. If only life were that simple.

The blonde haired man shrugs, “it’s Wednesday and my appointments are every Wednesday.”

“You haven’t been here in over a year. You have the most erratic schedule when it comes to showing up here. Now, I can’t force you to come, but most of my patients come to every appointment for a certain period of time before they decide they want to move on and no longer come. If that’s what they want. You on the other hand, show up every once in a while and only when you seem to need help with a problem.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Will shifts in the chair he was sitting in, “I thought that’s what you were for.”

“To an extent, but therapy is usually more effective when you come frequently.”

Will shrugs and looks off around Habib’s office, his eyes focusing on a random painting that was hanging on the wall across from him. He was trying again to avoid the multiple reasons as to why he decided to show up to therapy. It wasn’t just one reason unfortunately, this year had been almost too much for him to handle. He had high hopes in the beginning, he and Mackenzie had rang in the new year for the first time since their breakup with a kiss in the bullpen. They were newly engaged and excited for the year ahead with plans to be married in June.

That wasn’t exactly how things went. It all came at once in April when they found out about AWM being bought. Then there was Neal being contacted by a whistleblower with classified documents and him having to go into hiding. Of course then came Lucas Pruitt, the absolute bane of Will’s existence, buying AWM and doing everything he could to ruin  _ News Night _ . What was awful was that wasn’t the end of the list. After Pruitt bought AWM, Will spent 52 days in prison and sat back as everything he and Mac worked for with the show was basically destroyed. The cherry on top of this year was his best friend and father figure, Charlie, dying the same day he was let out of prison. That one still felt like some sort of sick joke. This year seemed to be the worst of the worst and he was glad they were nearing the end of it. 

Will couldn’t lie, there were a few things that made the year better. Marrying Mackenzie was probably the greatest moment of his life. Had they had a normal wedding, he probably would consider it the best day of his life but considering he was whisked away to prison not long after their marriage, it wasn’t one of his top ten days. 

He thought a lot about how he was taken away right after their wedding. She spent almost two whole months without him. Mac was incredibly resilient, the strongest person he knew, but he knew she’d never admit to those 52 days being incredibly difficult on her too. Will knew that she didn’t want to make him feel any worse by complaining about how hard it had been on her when he was the one locked away. In reality, he cared more about being gone for nearly the first two months of their marriage than he did about how being in prison affected him. 

There was no doubt that he made it up to her, but part of him still held onto the guilt of not being there. They already lost so much time together because of how stupid he had been when they started working together again. 

At least this year had another upside to it, that was another thing getting him through the rest of this year. Mac had found out at Charlie’s funeral that she was pregnant and though he was scared to be a father, he was absolutely thrilled too. She was four months pregnant and every day that her stomach grew he got more and more excited and also protective. 

“You know we can sit here switching between staring at each other and the wall and I’m still going to be paid. Or, you could get your money’s worth and tell me why you decided to come today,” Habib’s voice takes Will out of his thoughts and back to the present moment.

Will turns back to the younger man across from him, “Mackenzie and I got married a few months ago.”

He raises his brows and then nods, “you did? Congratulations.”

Holding back on a smile, he continues, “and she’s pregnant, four months to be exact.”

“Wow, that all happened fast. Again, congratulations.”

Will thanks him then takes a sip of his water before continuing, “I’m terrified of being a father,” he pauses and tries to reconsider his words, “maybe terrified isn’t the right word. More like, I’m scared of being a father because I’m scared of being like my own.”

Habib nods, “why do you think you’re going to be like him?”

“Well I’m pretty sure his depression was genetic and passed right on to me. Who knows what the hell else he passed.”

“Have you talked to Mackenzie about this?”

Shrugging, Will looks down at the wedding ring resting around this left ring finger, “we’ve talked about it a little but she doesn’t think I’ll be like him. She always insists I have a massive heart.”

“Do you think you’re going to be like him in the way that he was to you, your siblings,  _ and  _ your mother?”

Will looks back at his therapist, “I was a good boyfriend to Mac… I don’t have doubts in my ability to be her husband but, yeah sometimes I worry about that.”

Habib shifts in his seat, “Will, can I give you some scenarios and we’ll go through them?”

“Sure.”

“Okay, think back to an argument you had with Mackenzie recently. Not a massive argument, more of a disagreement.”

“Alright,” Will then begins reflecting on the last argument he had with Mac and begins retelling it to Habib.

**A week ago**

_ “I am not naming our baby, if we have a boy, Walter after Cronkite” Mac rejects as she looks out the window while Will drives. _

_ They were on their way to her appointment with the ob/gyn for her check up on their unborn child. Today would be the day they found out what sex the baby was. Not that the sex was an incredibly important thing to them, they would love their child no matter what. _

_ “Aw come on,” Will pushes, “it’s a good name.” _

_ “For a 55 year old man!” _

_ Will changes lanes and chuckles, “alright what about-” _

_ “William Duncan McAvoy I swear if you suggest Murrow as a name for our kid again I will di-vor-ce you.” _

_ Mac pauses for a beat then adds, “besides, his name was Edward and that’s a whole lot better than Murrow.” _

_ He puts his hands up in defeat for a brief moment before placing them back on the wheel, “alright alright, Walter and Murrow are out of the list of names for our kid.” _

**Present Day**

Will concludes retelling the disagreement, it was small and really the only reason he remembered it was because of how recent it was. That and the subject being their kid made it a little more memorable.

“Now when you think of that argument and how you felt, do you feel angry at Mackenzie?”

“No, we have disagreements all the time,” he replies.

“What about hitting her? Did those thoughts ever cross your mind?”

Will was taken back by that question, it made his stomach turn, “no!” he immediately detests. “I would never think about hitting her, the thought has never crossed my mind. I mean the two of us could argue over something trivial for a long time but I almost never get mad about it.”

Habib nods, “now think of another argument but this time an argument that upset either one of you or both of you.”

The first one that came to mind was the argument they had on election night of last year. There were several fights that day, but the one in particular he had on his mind was when Mac thought he wasn’t going to fire her because of his image. That one struck a chord with him. 

As Will finishes recounting the argument Habib poses a question, “taking that fight and any fight that has upset either one of you… what’s the first thing that comes to mind when it comes to making up?”

“Apologizing, she apologized to me for thinking I wouldn’t fire her because of my image. Usually when we fight nowadays we give each other space and my thoughts focus on how to make things right. We’re still not the world’s greatest communicators, it’s something we’ve been working on but we try to talk things out to prevent future fights.”

“Okay, final scenario: your kid is in high school. They come home with a bad grade, what’s your first reaction?”

Will ponders for a second before giving his answer, “I would ask what subject it is and why they didn’t come to me or Mackenzie. There’d be some disappointment but I would encourage them to do better on their next assignment or exam and not to dwell on the grade.”

“No punishment?”

He shrugs, “what good would punishing the kid do? I’d rather help them get a better grade and educate them than belittle them for a bad grade. We’ve all been there.”

Habib holds back a smile as he writes on the clipboard in his hand. 

He didn’t do the best job of hiding the smile because Will caught it right away, “what?”

“I think Mackenzie was right. All of your answers are the exact opposite of how an abuser would act. You haven’t shown any signs now or in the past of acting the way most abusers do. It’s hard not to worry about being like your father but in your case, the apple fell very far from the tree.”

Will looks down and holds back on a smile of his own this time. It felt good coming from a professional that he didn’t have much reason to worry about being like his father. Not that Mackenzie’s reassurance didn’t help, it certainly did, but this was the double confirmation that he needed. The nerves of being a good father and a good husband were still there, but this conversation with Habib helped ease them.

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀●●●⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀  ⠀⠀

There was still a full half hour left of Will’s session and the tone had shifted when Habib dug into whether or not there were more reasons as to why he decided to show up after over a year of not coming to his sessions. That question made him close off again. Of course Habib knew there was more than one reason why he came, his time in prison had been televised and so had Charlie’s death. Surely Habib hadn’t been living under a rock. Maybe he didn’t know of Charlie’s death even though other news stations briefly reported on it. Either way he certainly knew Will had been in jail, there was no way he didn’t.

“Will…” 

They were back where they started at the beginning of his session, “you know I was thinking about maybe adopting an animal. Mac has been pretty insistent on getting a cat or possibly a dog… but with our apartment and the baby on the way I think it’s best to wait.”

“You’re dodging talking about how you’re feeling again. Shutting down and putting up your walls isn’t going to help you process,” Habib ignores his statement entirely and tries to bring him back into a conversation about his feelings. 

“I always pegged myself as a dog person, but cats sleep all the time so maybe getting one would be nice,” Will continues to avoid the conversation.

“You don’t have to talk about whatever it is that’s bothering you the most right now. We can save that for another time. Talk about whatever is the easiest to talk about.”

The room goes quiet as Will tries to think of how to even begin to convey his feelings. He didn’t like talking about either situation that was sticking out in his mind, but he also didn’t like carrying the unprocessed emotional weight on his shoulders. 

“Death is never the easiest to talk about,” he starts.

Habib nods in return, “we’ve all experienced losing someone. I wouldn’t be sitting here talking to you if my father hadn’t passed.”

Will was staring at the floor, Charlie had died only two months ago. The pain of his death wasn’t as heavy or hard as it had been when he first found out, but it still weighed on his heart. 

The silence in the room stays as he reflects on the moment he found out about Charlie’s death.

**Two Months Ago**

_ “He died,” Mac says softly as her eyes stay locked in his. _

_ His heart had already taken off racing when she said Charlie had a heart attack but it came to a screeching halt when the words, “he died” fell from her lips. _

_ Every nerve in his body went completely numb and he stiffened in the embrace she still had him in. It didn’t feel real. This had to be some sort of mistake. Charlie Skinner couldn’t die, the man was fucking immortal. _

_ He felt her warm fingertips press against his cheek and his eyes moved from staring in a haze into the distance back into hers. There was a horrible sadness in her eyes and that was the first ache in his chest he felt since everything went numb. Mac doesn’t say anything and instead presses a kiss to his forehead. _

_ She then brings one arm around his shoulder, “come on…” slowly she starts to guide him to the car, “let’s go home,” she says softly. _

**Present Day**

Will looks up from the spot on the floor he was staring at, “death is the world’s most unfair aspect. I thought Charlie would outlive me, I wanted him to see Mackenzie and me have a kid together before we even knew she was pregnant. He should still be here.”

“I know how you feel and you’re not alone at all in that.”

He sighs, “Charlie was basically a father to me… after so many years of having a father who didn’t care about me, one who hated me, having someone who filled that spot and did care about me…” Will trails off and he tries to hold in his emotions. 

His biological father had been a living nightmare for him, his siblings, and his mother. He and his mother probably received the worst of it. In a way he was glad that he, out of everyone, received the most of it. His siblings still had trauma and scars but he carried the majority of it all. Will spent most of his preteen to young adult years taking the blame for things his siblings had done. He let his father beat him with a belt when his sister, Caroline, had accidentally broken a window in the house by playing baseball with him and their other siblings. Will still had a scar on his lower back from that one. He stepped in every time his father tried to take a swing at any of his siblings. Will stepped in for his mother too and sometimes would step in between their fights. He didn’t hold back. He fought back as soon as he was old enough to and did whatever he could to protect his family from the abuse they couldn’t escape. It didn’t matter how many scars, cuts, or bruises he was left with. All he cared about was keeping them safe.

Being the one who took the majority of all of his father's abuse definitely resulted in the issues he still had to this day. It was emotional baggage that he would carry with him for the rest of his life. That was why having a father figure who cared about him the way Charlie did meant so much to him.

“He did more for me than I did for him and I feel guilty for never repaying him. I mean he’s the reason Mac came back to New York and if it hadn’t been for him doing that… I don’t know where I’d be. We certainly wouldn’t be married with a kid on the way, that’s for sure.”

“Will, you shouldn’t hold on to that guilt. You might not have been Charlie’s son but from what you’ve told me in the past and today, it certainly seems like he loved you as if you were one. Part of being a parent means you don’t expect to be paid in return for the things you do for your children. You’d do anything to see them happy, no matter what or how old they get.”

He nods, not having taken that into consideration before. Will had to admit he still felt like he should’ve done more, maybe thanked Charlie more often or at least say that he loved him more than once every so often. 

Will’s time with Habib was coming to an end and as it is they have one more conversation.

Habib leads him over to the door and they stop in the doorway as they chat, “it’s important to remember that Charlie’s death will be easier to think and talk about with time. Also, I know it can be difficult to remember, but try to remind yourself that you’re not your father. I think you’re going to be an excellent father.”

Nodding, Will thanks Habib and begins making his way out but just before he leaves he hears him say one more thing.

“Oh and Will?”

“Yeah?” He turns back for a moment.

“I think I figured out your dilemma for your kid’s name.”

Will gives the younger man a confused look, unsure of what he meant by that.

Habib gives him a small nod, “think about it.”

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀●●●⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀  ⠀⠀

Mackenzie was furiously typing away at her computer, trying to get some extra work out of the way so she could be in the control room watching the show tonight. Plus, she could leave with Will as soon as the broadcast was over. Most nights she tried to leave with him, but being the president of the news division meant piles of work she never had to deal with as a producer. 

This new job had been a whole new level of stress, one she was trying her best to manage while balancing being a wife and being pregnant. The balancing act seemed to be going well so far, but some nights she had complete meltdowns in her office and she was glad no one saw those. Will saw a couple at home and always reassured her fears of thinking she wasn’t right for the job. He reminded her that she could handle more than she thought she could and that with time the job would get easier. Though she preferred to have her breakdowns most days alone, it was nice to have him there to reassure her at times. He always had a way of making her feel better.

Turning when a knock comes at her office door, Mac smiles wide when she sees Will standing in her doorway holding a bouquet of flowers. 

“Have a minute to spare?”

“I have all the time in the world for you.” She pulls her glasses off and places them aside before getting up and walking over to him, “what’s the occasion?” she asks, gesturing to the flowers.

“No occasion, just thought I’d bring my beautiful wife some flowers,” he smiles.

“You flatter me Billy.” Mac then steps closer and presses a quick kiss to his lips. 

Breaking apart, Will’s free hand lands on her pronounced belly and he hums, “how are you feeling?”

“My back is sore,” she says as she takes the bouquet out of his hand and steps out his embrace to bring them over to her desk. “But that’s nothing I’m not used to.”

Mac places the flowers into the vase sitting on her desk and smiles as she admires them, they were her favorite— orchids. “These are beautiful honey, thank you.”

Will steps further into her office and nods, “of course.”

Turning back, Mac walks back over to him and takes his hand, guiding him over to her desk. “How was therapy?”

The idea for Will to even see Jack Habib again had been her suggestion. After comforting him a few nights ago over a fear he had expressed before of being like his father, she brought up the idea of seeing him again. It was something he hesitated on at first, but she was glad he ended up going.

“It was good actually,” He replies as she guides him into the chair at her desk, completely in control. Mac then settles into his lap and brings his arms around her as they sit together. 

They weren’t completely shy about PDA in the bullpen but usually kept it at a minimum— holding hands and sharing the occasional quick kiss. However being that they were in her office, none of that applied and they could be as affectionate as they pleased.

Mac plays with the buttons on his shirt as they sit together, “good, I’m glad you went.” She knew that in some cases he wouldn’t fully talk to her about how he was feeling. It was a work in progress to get him to be less closed off about that sort of thing, but she was glad he at least was talking to  _ someone _ about how he felt.

The room goes quiet for a few minutes, her head resting on his shoulder while her fingers continue mindlessly playing with the buttons on his shirt. Both of them knew they had work to be doing, there was another rundown meeting in about an hour. There was plenty that they needed to get done and yet neither wanted to move. 

In fact Mac had already closed her eyes and was considering a nap. The amount of work she was doing on a regular basis alongside being pregnant kept her more exhausted than she was used to. Will’s hand had found its way into her hair which only made her feel even more relaxed and inching closer to that nap. 

“I think I figured out a name for the baby,” Will says softly, breaking their silence.

“Mmm? What’s that?” she asks as her eyes flutter back open.

They had found out just last week that the sex of their baby was a girl so for the last five days they had been going back and forth on names. None of them felt right, they didn’t seem fitting for their child. This one though, Will thought it was perfect.

“Charlotte.”

“Charlie for short,” Mac immediately replies.

“Yeah,” Will hums and continues gently raking his fingers through her hair. 

A smile comes to Mac’s face and she nods, “it’s perfect.”

That was the first name they had agreed on since they started debating back and forth even before finding out they were having a girl. This one seemed just right— Charlotte McAvoy, a fitting name for the child of a beloved news anchor and the president of his news division.

**Author's Note:**

> There’s a few things that I really wish Sorkin would’ve brought back into the show or acknowledged. One of those being Will’s therapy and Habib in general. He never gave a conclusion to that or at least a mention that Will was still going. It definitely would’ve been nice to see.
> 
> As I always say, I hope you all enjoyed this fic. Thank you for taking the time to read it. And of course, feel free to leave any feedback or just a kudos if you’d like. Until next time 💛


End file.
